


Giving

by Kitty514



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8824501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty514/pseuds/Kitty514
Summary: All Newt wanted was to see Credence smile, to see him happy and free.





	

The first time Newt saw Credence smile, he was in Tina and Queenie’s flat, sitting across from Credence at the table during dinner. Jacob was in the middle of a particularly long-winded joke about a baker and his wife. Newt had glanced over at Credence to catch the corners of his lips lifting subtly up as he listened to Jacob talking. The smile seemed tiny and foreign on Credence’s face, something that didn’t seem to grace his lips often, if at all.

Newt found himself unable to tear his eyes away, a sort of unfound happiness churning in his stomach. It’d been weeks since the incident with Grindelwald. Newt had told Tina he was staying in New York a while longer to make sure nothing else would go wrong, though he much doubted it would. In reality, he’d stayed behind because of Credence, wanting to make sure he’d be alright after everything that had happened. 

Now, sitting across the table from Credence, Newt could tell himself that he’d be alright given enough time. He’d never be completely right, but he could get close. 

Credence met his eyes and the smile slipped off his face so quickly it was like it was never there to begin with. Newt shook his head slightly, eyes widening, trying to silently communicate that nothing was wrong. Credence looked down at his lap, his expression blank once again. Newt was crestfallen, cursing himself for making Credence feel like smiling wasn’t okay. 

When Jacob had finished his joke, and the table had been cleared of dishes, Newt sat down next to Credence on the couch. Tina, Queenie, and Jacob were preoccupied in the kitchen, talking about the bakery and what new pastries to try out. 

Newt tentatively reached out to touch Credence’s arm but drew it back to himself. “It’s okay, you know?” He muttered. 

Credence gave him a confused look, then turned his head away. 

“You have a wonderful smile.” Newt said quietly, wringing his hands together. “I didn’t mean to make you stop.” 

“Oh.” Credence replied, his cheeks turning pink. “Thank… thank you, Mr. Scamander.” 

“Newt. Please, call me Newt.” 

Credence nodded but Newt wasn’t convinced that he’d oblige by the request. Newt had been trying to get Credence to call him by his first name for a few days now, to no avail. Newt cleared his throat, changing the subject. “I’ll be leaving for London in a couple of days. I’m sure Queenie’s told you.” 

“Yes.” 

“You could come with me.” 

“Why?” 

Newt smiled at him gently. “Because I want you to. I think you could have a great life there. You could stay with me at my flat, and I could find someone to teach you how to control your magic.” 

“I don’t know.” Credence said, staring at the floor. “I appreciate the offer, though.” 

“Think about it. You don’t have to answer right away. I’d like for you to come with me, though.” 

Credence shot him a glance and nodded his head sharply. “I’ll think about it.” 

*** 

Newt clutched his suitcase tightly to his chest as he stood in front of the ship leaving New York. He stood up on his tiptoes, scanning the crowd for any sign of Credence, hoping he’d made the decision to join Newt. In the distance, he spotted a flash of jet black hair. Newt landed back on the soles of his feet and walked in that direction, deftly avoiding the people moving past him. 

“Credence!” Newt called out when he finally caught up to him. 

Credence spun to his left, taking a step back before Newt collided with him. “Mr. Scamander, I thought you would’ve gotten on the ship already.” 

“I was waiting to see if you showed up.” Newt replied, smiling. “I wouldn’t want you getting on the wrong ship, now would I?” 

“Thank you, Mr. Scamander.” 

“Newt. Please, call me Newt.” 

Credence opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Newt. Thank you.” 

Newt’s smile widened. He was happy to hear his first name coming out of Credence’s mouth. “It’s no problem at all. Now, come with me. We better board before the ship takes off.” 

Newt led Credence back to the ship through the thinning crowd, glancing over his shoulder every couple of seconds to make sure he didn’t lose sight of Credence. At the bridge leading up to the ship, Newt presented his ticket, then waited on the bridge for Credence to present his. Tina or Queenie must have bought it for him. 

On deck, Newt found an empty bench next to the railing. He sat down, followed by Credence, who kept a good amount of space between them. Newt placed his suitcase in the empty space, keeping a hand on it. 

“You’ll help me look after my suitcase, won’t you?” Newt asked. 

Credence gazed at the suitcase, then primly put one of his own hands on top of it. Newt let out a small laugh, gaining him a startled look from Credence. 

“I have a feeling my creatures will take a liking to you.” Newt said. 

“You’ll let me near them?” Unspoken is Credence’s fear of accidentally hurting one of the creatures. 

“Of course.” Newt reassures him. “I could use some help from time-to-time.” 

Credence turned his attention back to the suitcase. He patted it once. “I’d like that.” 

“Good. I’m glad.” 

Newt leaned back, his hand sliding across the almost smooth surface of the suitcase. The side of his hand hit Credence’s, and Credence flinched a little but didn’t move his hand away. Newt stared out at the dock as it slowly disappeared from view. 

Suddenly, Credence was intertwining their fingers, startling Newt at the sudden action. He studied the side of Credence’s face, taking in each of his features as he gazed out at the water. Newt sighed contentedly, ready to return home. 

*** 

“And this here is an occamy.” Newt said, cradling the serpent-like creature against his chest. “They can be quite aggressive at times, but if you treat them right, they won’t think to harm you.” He looked up at Credence, who was staring at the creature with child-like wonder. “Would you like to hold him?” 

Credence’s eyes shot up to Newt’s. “I don’t know. You said they can be aggressive.” 

“Yes, I did. But this little occamy is going to behave, aren’t you?” Newt said to the occamy in his arms. “Credence is a friend and he wouldn’t hurt you.”

Newt took a step closer to Credence, holding the occamy out towards him. “I have a feeling you two might be friends, too.” 

Credence’s arms twitched, but stayed at his sides for a few moments. Then he held his arms up as if about to hold a baby, letting Newt hand the creature over carefully. He handled the occamy away from his body like he was afraid he’d break it. Newt placed his hands on Credence’s forearms and gently guided them closer to his chest. Credence supported the creature there, where it moved closer to him for warmth. 

Newt smiled, looking up to see a smile plastered on Credence’s face. Credence looked up as well, meeting Newt’s gaze. His smile faltered for a second before settling back on his face, then disappearing completely. 

“That’s not so bad, is it?” Newt asked Credence, a bit disappointed that he wasn’t smiling anymore. He realized that he still had his hands on Credence’s forearms, and he removed them, stepping back to give Credence more space. 

“No. It’s not.” Credence said a bit breathlessly, staring down at the occamy again. “It’s amazing that you’ve been taking care of all these creatures by yourself.” 

Newt felt his face heat up at the compliment. “Yes, well, the creatures seem to be able to take care of themselves fairly well. They do quite a bit of the work themselves.” He stepped back in to take the occamy from Credence and place it back in its nest with the others. “Why don’t we eat? You must be famished from the trip.” 

Credence nodded. Newt led them back towards the suitcase’s exit. He couldn’t avoid gazing at Frank’s habitat as they passed by it once again. It was lonelier without the bird. Quieter. Newt couldn’t help but feel a pinch of sadness every time he thought about it. 

“I suppose I should turn this into a new terrain.” Newt muttered, mainly to himself. 

“Tina told me about the thunderbird.” Credence said quietly. “Do you really want to get rid of the habitat?” 

“No.” Newt admitted. “Then I’ll know he’s really gone. He’s happier out in the world where he belongs, though.” 

“I’m sure he is. He’s lucky to have someone like you take care of him.” 

“Thank you, Credence.” 

Credence’s face turned a shade of red. He turned his head away, staring at the ground. They exited the suitcase in silence, back into Newt’s flat. It was fairly small, with just barely enough room for the both of them. Newt wasn’t even sure yet where Credence would sleep. He didn’t want to relegate him to the couch, not after all he’d been put through. 

Newt stood in the kitchen, scanning his cupboards for anything he could use for a meal. Credence sat at the table on the other side of the kitchen, scratching at the wood with a fingernail. 

“I have cheese and… No, never mind. Just cheese.” Newt grimaced, closing his cupboards. “How would you feel about eating at a restaurant? They’ll do a much better job at cooking than I could, anyway.” 

“Uh, sure.” Credence replied, ceasing his scratching to wring his hands together. 

“It needn’t be someplace crowded. I know a fairly small and quiet place not too far down the street.” 

Credence’s shoulders seemed to lose a bit of their tension. “That sounds good.” 

“Great.” Newt grabbed his coat from the couch and handed Credence’s over as well. They left the flat, walking down a couple flights of stairs before setting foot outside. 

The air was cool on Newt’s skin, and he breathed in deeply. It was good to be back. He made sure Credence fell in stride with him as they wandered down the street. The clouds overhead masked the sun every few seconds, leaving Newt in a hazy mood. 

The restaurant in question was nestled between a small, rundown bookshop and a store that sold wands of all kinds. Newt pulled the door to the restaurant open, holding it in place for Credence to go through. Inside, the place was dimly lit, and the rich red walls mirrored the aroma coming from the kitchen. 

They were seated at a table at the front, next to the window where they could watch the passerby. A waitress came by to get their drink orders before moving on to a different table. Newt held the menu up in front of him but didn’t read it, already knowing what he’d order. Instead, he snuck glances at Credence across the table, making sure he didn’t seem too anxious. 

Credence caught Newt glancing at him and ducked his head behind his menu, only the top of his jet black hair visible. Newt blushed and his behind his menu as well. He felt like he couldn’t ever act quite right around Credence and it was throwing him off. 

“Newt?” 

Newt’s head popped up above the menu when Credence said his name. “Yes, Credence?” 

Credence’s eyes were barely visible over the top of the menu. “I’ve been thinking. About what you said about getting someone to teach me magic.” 

“I know a couple people who’d be willing to help. All of them are great at what they do.” Newt placed his menu flat on the table. 

“Is it really a good idea?” Credence’s voice was quieter than usual, betraying all the doubt he was feeling. He held the menu back up, blocking his face. 

Newt took hold of the menu and gently took it from Credence, placing it on top of his own. “You’ll be amazing, Credence. I know it. You have nothing to fear.” 

Credence furrowed his brow. “Sometimes it’s like what’s inside me is just waiting to get out again. I’m afraid if I unleash it again-” He stuttered to a stop. 

“It’ll destroy you if you keep pushing it down.” Newt whispered, leaning in towards Credence. “And I won’t let that happen. Not to you.” 

A silence fell over them when the waitress came back with their drinks, ready to take their order. They both ordered, then went back to being quiet. 

Finally, Credence spoke, staring down at his lap. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Newt reached over slowly and squeezed Credence’s hand, then allowed himself to keep holding on. Credence stared at their hands, linked together on top of the table. He squeezed Newt’s hand back. 

*** 

Newt could feel the heat radiating off of Credence’s body as they lie next to each other on his small bed. Newt would go out and get one for Credence as soon as he could so he wouldn’t make Credence any more uncomfortable than he need be. 

At some point, as Newt lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling in the dark, Credence turned on his side to face Newt. 

“Did you mean it?” Credence whispered. 

“Mean what?” 

“About the obscurus destroying me.” 

Newt paused, his breath heavy in his lungs. “Yes. I’ve seen it happen before. I can’t let that happen to someone else.” 

“Oh.” Credence said. “And earlier, when you said I was your friend?” 

Newt remembered talking to the occamy. “Yes. I meant it.” 

Credence didn’t reply, just stayed still on his side. Newt looked at him. He couldn’t make out much of Credence’s face in the dark, but he could tell Credence was considering Newt’s words. Credence let out a tiny sigh, so quiet Newt almost didn’t catch it. Credence scooted forward in the bed until his head rested on Newt’s shoulder. Newt hesitated before moving his arm to place it under Credence’s head, pulling him until Credence was laying half on top of him. 

The weight calmed him, quelling his anxieties. He shut his eyes, counting the breaths Credence took as each exhale gently tickled his neck. Before he knew it, sleep was pulling him under. 

*** 

He was laughing. Credence was laughing. 

Newt’s brain took a long time to process it. He felt his mouth open in surprise as he watched Credence playing with a baby kneazle. He was laughing quietly as the creature leapt after the string Credence was dragging along the ground. His hair, after a few months without a trim, was swinging lazily about his face. 

Credence’s demeanor had started to change after he’d started to learn how to control his power during weekly lessons. His shoulders were more relaxed, and he wasn’t so jumpy all the time. And he was laughing. 

Newt felt his breath leave his lungs, frozen in place with his manuscript in hand. His heart was beating at a mile-a-minute. He was certain it had to be audible. 

Credence stopped what he was doing when Newt let out a noise close to choking. As with every time before, Credence’s laugh died in his throat and his smile fell. 

“No.” Newt said without thinking. “Please don’t stop. I like it when you smile. And your laugh- it- it’s beautiful.” 

Credence covered his mouth with a hand, his face turning bright red. The kneazle kept attacking the string hanging from his other hand. 

Newt inhaled sharply, realizing everything he’d just said. He tried to quickly correct himself. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by saying that. If you need some space from me, I’ll be happy to leave you alone for as long as you need.” 

Credence shook his head, still covering his mouth. “It’s fine.” He said in a muffled voice. 

“No, really. I mean it.” 

Credence shook his head again. He let the string drop and the kneazle carried it off. He removed his other hand from his mouth. 

“I haven’t-” Credence said, struggling through his words. “Nobody’s- Graves- Grindelwald was the last person to compliment me.” A pained expression overtook his face. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Newt wanted to reach out and pull Credence in close, but didn’t think he should. 

It was as if Credence read his mind, moving in close and wrapping his arms around Newt’s shoulders. He buried his head in the crook of Newt’s neck. Newt immediately embraced him, his cheek resting on the top of Credence’s head. 

“I’m not him.” Newt whispered. “I won’t hurt you. I want to see you happy.” 

“I know.” Credence said. A small sob escaped him, his body shaking against Newt’s. Newt stroked his hair, shushing him gently. 

“You’re safe here, Credence.” Newt said. “I’ll never let him get to you ever again.” 

*** 

Newt held Credence tightly that night, after Credence had dozed off. He’d gotten another bed months ago, but Credence preferred to sleep with him since he still got nightmares. Some selfish part of Newt wanted it to stay that way so he didn’t have to go back to sleeping alone. 

He felt like if he let go of Credence, he might lose him, no matter how nonsensical that sounded. He knew Credence wasn’t going anywhere. But something deep inside Newt had sprung to life, coiling up through his stomach, around his heart, trying to escape through his throat. 

Protectiveness. Love. Newt had only ever really wanted to protect his creatures, had only ever loved his creatures. They were his whole life, but Credence was a part of his life now, too, entangled so thoroughly in Newt’s consciousness that there was no escaping him, even if someone tried to rip the memories of Credence from his mind. 

Newt shivered at the thought and Credence stirred in his sleep, making Newt loosen his grip around him. Credence mumbled something groggily. 

Newt hummed. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.” 

Instead, Credence sat up. Newt sat up, too. 

“What’s wrong?” Newt asked. 

“Bad dream.” Credence muttered. “Gonna go check on some of the creatures.” He yawned and blinked a few times, suddenly more awake than before. 

Newt watched him get up and exit the bedroom. He heard the suitcase clicking open as Credence went in. The room felt ten degrees colder without him. 

Newt pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his hands. He’d messed up. He shouldn’t have fallen so quickly, so immensely. The coil in his throat tightened, starting to burn. 

“… Newt.” 

The soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts, pulling him to look up at Credence hovering by the bed, one hand outstretched towards his shoulder but not touching it. Newt didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, curled in on himself. 

Newt took Credence’s hand in his own, gripping it too tightly. He loosened his grip, afraid he’d been too rough. Credence stared at their hands for a long while. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed gingerly, intertwining their fingers like he had on the ship. 

“Bad dream?” Credence asked, curiosity enshrouded in a quiet voice. 

“No.” Newt answered. “I just let things get out of my control.” 

“What things?” 

“Feelings.” 

“For who?” 

“You.” 

Credence didn’t meet Newt’s eye at first. He looked down at the bed for a minute, his face blank. Finally, he turned to Newt with wide eyes, glistening in the pale moonlight streaming through the window. Newt realized that Credence was waiting for some sort of punchline. The only other person who’d shown him affection hadn’t actually cared for him. 

Newt reached out, his fingers grazing the back of Credence’s neck. Credence leaned in, wanting more contact. Newt caressed his cheek, and Credence nuzzled his palm, breath warm on Newt’s skin. 

“Sweetheart.” Newt whispered. He didn’t say anything else for a few minutes. All he wanted to do was whisper sweet nothings to Credence until he was certain that Newt was serious about what he’d said. “May I kiss you?” He asked delicately. 

Credence nodded, still trying to get more contact from Newt’s hand. Newt let his hand slide into Credence’s hair, fingers running through soft strands. Newt leaned forward, placing a tender kiss to the corner of Credence’s lips. 

Credence turned his head, catching Newt’s lips in a deeper kiss. Newt sighed contentedly, feeling like he was melting into the world around him. Melting into Credence. He wanted to love him, give him everything he needed and wanted. He wanted to see Credence smile and laugh freely, with no worries. 

Credence was a quiet room after a loud day, filling Newt’s senses with a calm he’d always yearned to experience. He tasted of toothpaste turning into morning breath. His lips were soft and kind, giving but not asking for anything in return. Newt wanted to make him ask. Wanted him to take, after so many years of living for others. 

The kiss ended too soon. Credence pulled back for air, and Newt was tempted to chase after him, but kept himself in check. He wouldn’t push. He’d give as much as Credence did. 

Newt pulled Credence to his chest, laying them down together. Credence found his spot half on top of Newt. The weight was grounding to Newt, keeping his thoughts from drifting too far. Newt closed his eyes, breathing in the scent that was Credence mixed with the unmistakable smell of the world in his suitcase. 

Newt would give. And one day, Credence would take. 

**Author's Note:**

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